Oh, migrant workers, YES, with pleasure

Hello fans,

In spite of my increasing love for Cruel Bertrand and Sir Nigel Tibbs I have been having a perfectly hateful time in Londre. In these dark days my only friends here have been trying to tell me some advice:

"Whenever you want to say something to someone, just say the opposite thing of what you are thinking!"

This came about because I was also informed that I'll be lonely 4-eva, and will never grow to be a real boi, because, AND I QUOTE:

"You never give a chance for the other person to speak, you are too overwhelming and disrespectful of other people, and from what I heard so far, you are disrespectful of yourself as well."

UM, OBV that made me glow with pleasure! I am HORRIBLE SCAG and NO ONE will ever like me!!!!! I am learning at an astounding rate here, but I wonder what the Other will think?

To salt the wound or should I say to FURTHER DELIGHT ME, my brother took me to this awful party in the middle of nothing (it kind of looked like the video to "Runaway Train"), and there were all these barely-English-speaking people there, who were fascinated with telling stories of their poor poor children in Slovakia who they have to support. Once they found out that I was American, they were absolutely dumbfounded that I would come to England. AND THEN came the most amazing questions, first about how easy it is to start a business "in-Amerika" and have tons of money. Of course my answer was "Sweeetie, seriously, there are only two things people from east europe can do without speaking English, and that is clean toilets or build houses. No one builds houses anymore in the US. that leaves everyone to the toilets." To which this offended woman yelled: "SURELY, not white people do dirty job as this???" to which my answer was "oh, well... you are like a second-class white person. how do I explain? like a white person with three red tags that someone can get at TK Maxx" which my brother and I thought was HILAR, but the Slovakian improvished mother did not (probably because she does not speak English after 3 YEARS in the UK). HA.

I thought things were going good, even though my brother kept prodding me and telling me to be quiet. Then of course, came the question of saving money. I was glad, because, like all the other migrant workers, I could moan about being poor as all my
savings was TAKEN from me, and the bank STILL refuses to talk to me (they gave me back 10% so I can pay for heat after I yelled at them and pretty much broke down
crying on the phone). Well, then the migrants said, "what you saving for so much? maybe you plan to have child and pay for college?" and I said, "NO, I am obviously planning to buy the most BAD-ASS black Mercedes and or ESCALADE so that I can flaunt my social status and make people like you remember EXACTLY who they are and always will be: victims of their own greed and horribleness! Leaving children behind with an excuse of making money-BULLSHIT-feel-sorry-for-me-I'm-from-Slovakia-whining-WHORES, who instead of taking responsibility run away to western countries, clean dishes and get drunk every evening on stolen wine from the restaurant where they work, while their kids substitute a mother for money bills!". Ofcourse that didn't go over well at all (I was a bit drunk), and my brother had to drag me away, but I seriously LOST it, probably because of my long anger w/ my dad, who left for two years to come back to a kid who no longer even remembered how his dad looked like. That and everyone trying to outdo each other in "how-miserable-I-am-and-how-unjust-it-is-because-people-won't-give-me-money" type of stories. SERIOUSLY. Every single person had one. And they kept repeating it over and over and over, it drove me a bit over the edge.

Hm. I guess I'll have to start listening to that advice and become more popular, but maybe I'll start doing that next week, cuz right now I am in quite a pissed mood. I have been sleeping on a meager pallet and Cruel Bertrand has been tearing out all the straw filling and shitting in it instead. Hmmph. Perhaps I will start calling him BERTNARD to damage his ego a bit!

<3
-m