A harrowing journey...

Hello fans!

I am writing this from the airport in Londre as I wait for my taxi to whisk me to my hotel. Taxis in London are cruel and black. It is V obscene.

The trip here was quite a trial for many terrible reasons. First of all, I nearly missed my flight! I have been suffering from a terrible brain fever for the past several days and have been in a near comatose state so I didn't wake up until 6pm and my flight was at 8! Luckily I had packed my suitcase before I went to bed, so after a shower and a quick bite to eat (plain Cheerios, strawberry Activia yogurt and a passion mango sunrise tea) I was out the door!

My suitcase seemed unnaturally heavy, which was odd because all I had packed was a single black sweater and pair of black pants and a toothbrush (black). Figuring it was merely due to my weakened state, I struggled to hail a cab. Once I arrived at the airport, I rushed to my gate as quickly as possible. The woman working the x-ray machine seemed distracted by picking things out from under her acryllic nails (so sinful looking) but it meant I got through faster so I didn't mind.

I got to my gate just as they were shutting the door to the plane. I rushed to my seat and we were on our way.

Now during most plane rides, I entertain myself by reading from a favorite book, which 99% of the time is The Collected Works of Franz Kafka. As I was rereading the Trial for the 217th time and going over some notes I had made in the margins during a prior reading, I heard a banging sound coming from the overhead luggage compartment where I had stowed my bag. It was V strange.

Unable to ignore the infernal clamor, I got out of my seat and opened the bin. My suitcase fell to the floor (and nearly crushed me!) Something was trying to get out of it! As a crowd gathered around me, I opened it and the most bone chilling site greeted me: LX contorted like some sort of hellish human pretzel.

As he unfolded himself before the unbelieving crowd he exclaimed "HEY BUSTER BROWN! YOU AND I NEED TO TALK SO I STOWED AWAY IN YOUR BAG! I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND!"

The stewardesses and captain were all very angry at me and I was forced to sit in ChibiLX's lap for the rest of 7 hour flight! It was the WORST. He insisted I read my book to him out loud. I was humiliated and not in a sexy way!

Things worked out for the best though. As soon as we disembarked from the plane, a group of British police officers (Bobbies!) surrounded LX and beat him into submission with their big black clubs. As they dragged him away, LX turned to face me and with a wild light in his eye yelled "I GUESS THESE FELLOWS WANT TO CHAT! I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU LATER, BUCKO!"

At that point I screamed and the police officers subdued LX with a taser. After collecting myself I went to buy a Coffee and that brings up to the current moment.

I hope the door on my hotel room has a dead-bolt or better yet, a walk-in closet I can sleep in. Pray for me Mee-how, dear readers. I do not want ChibiLX to consume my brain.